What's a joke you haven't used yet, but are dying to share?

Read also:

• Why was Super Buu so afraid of having Fat Buu torn out and becoming Kid Buu if he was going to destroy the Earth even before his transformation?
• How can I control my daily masturbating habit?
• Why would the state lie about the Earth's shape? We know that it's flat, but why do they lie and tell us that it is a sphere?
• What options are available for obtaining prescribed medicine if you are in therapy, do not have insurance, but need them for functioning well?
• My grandmother deeded me her house before she passed last year. Her son still lives there refusing to move. What steps should I take to have him removed?
• Isn't it a turn on to have sex with a girl in a skirt or in a tight spandex?
• Journal tells author its retracting three papers for concept that ‘violates’ law of thermodynamics - Retraction Watch
• How do I become an intelligent man?
• According to Amy Schumer, John Cena was actually inside of her during the TrainWreck love scene. I thought that was illegal in Hollywood?
• Were knights’ lances practical weapons, or were they just for sports?